Breaking ground

The third time was the charm when I went to the site of the future Hilltop Grand Village to take pictures. The previous two times it was raining and overcast. But the third time, Oct. 22, was nice. It was warm and the sun was out.

The third time I had to park and walk a bit because a big piece of equipment blocked the “road.” It’s more of a path where vehicles drive, not really a road.

I’ve been taking photos and videos from the front of the property along Highway 54 to chart our progress. Workers began clearing the site Oct. 19, and within a couple of days had progressed quite a bit.

The smell of fresh-cut wood hung in the air. The huge piles of mulch were testament to the work under way. Bulldozer tracks lined the black earth, but it was pretty level. It was easier to see where the new facility will go. It was quite different when it was just a wooded lot, tucked behind Home Depot. Now it’s looking like a construction site, ready for our new resort-style senior living complex.

It’s been in the planning stage for quite some time. So long, in fact, that it doesn’t seem quite real that it’s finally happening.

I’ve spent some time in the past few days making plans for our upcoming ground-breaking ceremony. Having never done this before, it’s a learning experience. We have to make decisions about who to invite and what we should serve and how we should commemorate it. It’s like party planning, but for a short gathering at an outdoor venue. Fortunately, the weather forecast is good for this time of year.

Good weather should help construction as well. We hope to be open by next August for residents to move into our resort-style senior living apartments.

You can follow our progress on our Facebook page for Hilltop Grand Village, https://www.facebook.com/HilltopGrandVillage.

Help guide for dementia

Even before I officially joined the Hilltop team, I was invited to be part of the Supportive Community Health Services Roundtable, an initiative of the United Way of Inner Wisconsin. It’s a relatively new group, organized to address unmet needs in the community related to health services. Angela Loucks, chairwoman of the roundtable, suggested it might be a good fit in my new position. As a representative of assisted living, she assumed I could help speak to possible needs we witness.

As it turned out, the group already had a focus when I joined earlier this year: creating a dementia-friendly community.

Some communities in Wisconsin are working toward the same goal. Recently, the Aging & Disability Resource Center-Central Wisconsin has been tasked by the state with taking the lead on creating a dementia-friendly community, so the roundtable might instead focus on creating an age-friendly community, which would overlap in some ways but be broader in scope.

But in the process of discussing dementia needs, Angie noticed she was learning about a number of different resources and wondered if they were compiled in some form for families. She suggested putting together a dementia help guide for families.

The brochure would be styled like the Help Guide for South Wood County, a brochure that provides resources to people who need financial assistance. The Help Guide answers questions about how to apply for unemployment, how to find child care, how to get help with rent or utilities, how to get food or learn new skills to find a job – among many other topics. It’s easy to use and chock full of good information.

So, what would we put in a dementia help guide? Caregivers at our Alzheimer’s support group suggested where to get cheaper medical supplies, how to handle taking away a driver’s license, transportation options and respite care. Angie wants to include information about the support group, our memory cafes (there are two!), ADRC services, Park Place Adult Day Services and memory care facilities.

She also plans to include a card to cut out, like this one.

It’s something a person can give to a server at a restaurant or a store clerk, for example. The back features community resource information.

What would you include in a dementia guide in our community? What resources exist that we should highlight? What questions do you have that the guide could answer? You may call Angie at 715-421-0390 or post a comment here, and I’ll pass it along to her. Thank you, in advance, for your assistance.

Baby therapy

We had a young visitor at Hilltop. She’s got blue eyes and dark hair – what there is of it. She’s beautiful, and she brings out the best in all of the residents.

She’s the 3-month-old daughter of a co-worker. She came dressed in a pink, summery outfit, bright-eyed and wiggly. She easily won over the hearts of everyone – staff members, residents and family members of residents.

“I hear there’s a baby here,” said the wife of one of our residents as she came into the office. She wanted a turn to hold her, too.

We all did. We cooed and touched and oohed over her. We let her grasp our fingers in her tiny hands, and we held her tiny feet in our big hands.

We couldn’t get enough of her.

She’s a very pretty baby.

But it was more than just that. There is something about children and babies that appeal to us. It’s a rare person who isn’t intrigued by little ones. Our residents love it when staff or family members bring in their children or grandchildren. It might be their size or the energy they exude. It might be the memories stirred of their own children.

Even the next day, one of the residents at the Estate was gushing about the baby who came to visit, about how beautiful she was and how special it was to see and hold her.

While the residents in our memory care facility might not remember her visit, the joy they experienced in the moment is priceless.

That’s why we said we need baby therapy at least once a month. While our residents enjoy it when pets visit, they really love it when a baby visits. I guess the only trouble is babies grow up. But we’ll treasure their visits as long as we can. 

Virtual dementia tour

I put on dark glasses that blocked my vision. I put in ear buds that chanted gibberish and wailing sirens. I put on too-big gloves, one inside out. I put plastic inserts in my shoes that poked me constantly.

Then I went into a darkened room with a strobe light flashing and attempted to complete several tasks, spoken to me quietly in quick order.

Uh, what?

I fumbled around, remembering the tasks, but not able to complete them all because I couldn’t find what I was looking for. Where were the towels?

I have the advantage of a good memory and the ability to block out noise and pain – at least temporarily.

But for people with dementia, this distorted reality might be too real.

Stoney River Memory Care in Marshfield provided the session for members of the Wood County Coalition Against Abuse Interdisciplinary Team recently. The purpose of the I-Team is to increase awareness surrounding the topic of abuse and neglect of elders and adults at risk in Wood County, to coordinate efforts of various agencies that respond to abuse and neglect and to facilitate the development of better resources and preventative efforts. We meet quarterly to learn and share. We have different guest speakers and topics each time.

The virtual dementia tour is meant to simulate what a person with dementia might be experiencing. The shoe inserts mimic foot pain or chronic pain, and they make you more unsteady. The glasses distort and darken vision as might be the case with eye problems in elderly people. They also alter your “normal” reality. The gloves make you fumble more – you’re less sure of your grip and have trouble with fine motor skills. The ear buds that provide constant noise distract from the task at hand. They make it hard to hear instructions, just as hearing loss can make it hard to hear people’s voices.

We were timed as we did our tasks, although our results weren’t revealed. I think the timing was meant to encourage us to keep going and wrap up our tour – not that anyone would want to stay longer than necessary.

We knew we were only in that situation for a short time. We were doing it willingly.

People with dementia don’t have that luxury.

The women who offered the tour said they encourage family members to take the tour to get an idea of what it’s like for their loved ones with dementia. They said people sometimes break down, realizing how difficult it would be to live like that.

The tour should help caregivers – both family and professional – understand the importance of speaking slowly and clearly, making eye contact, only giving one task or suggestion at a time, showing what you want accomplished and taking into account pain and confusion.

The virtual dementia tour gave me a better understanding for what it might be like to live with dementia and a greater appreciation for caregivers. If you get the chance, I strongly encourage you to take a tour.

The things they bring me

Two residents stopped in the office. One was holding two small, clear bowls, stacked, with four large tortilla chips in the top bowl.

The resident holding the bowls set them on my desk and proceeded to take out the chips, telling me about a business deal in southern Wisconsin that wasn’t working out. He explained how I needed to fix it or fire the guy. The chips were the product, which he wasn’t happy about.

As he headed for the door, I asked if he wanted to take the chips with him. No, he said. His companion looked at the chips hungrily but didn’t reach for them either.

So, they sat on my desk for a while.

A little later, the first resident returned and left me a pizza crust as well. He had snacked on his leftovers from lunch out with a family member or friend. I guess I was the depository for leftover food that day.

I cleaned up the leftovers and took the dishes to the kitchen. It’s just one of the things they bring.

People with dementia act in different ways. Some tend to walk a lot. Some ask the same questions over and over. Some forget where their rooms are and go into other residents’ rooms. Some forget that items belong to them.

We have several residents who tend to pick up items and move them around. We find odd things in odd places. Some of those misplaced items wind up in the office where we collect them until we figure out where they go. Staff members usually can identify someone in a photo to get it back to the right owner. We recall who collects knickknacks or who has outdoor decorations in their room. Eventually, items are returned. We know some things will move again, but that’s OK.

Some things go missing. Clothing, slippers, TV remotes. Glasses, dentures, hearing aids. Those are little more troublesome. Sometimes they turn up in the wash – literally. One day we found someone’s dentures in the box for newspapers. Those waited on my desk until someone could figure out their owner.

It’s always interesting what they bring. Arm-chair covers. Books and magazines. Lamp shades. Baskets. Flowers. Cups. Bowls.

And, apparently, tortilla chips, too.

Surprises in assisted living

I started my new job in January. After more than 20 years in the newspaper business, I made the switch to health care. I’m the community relations director for Hilltop Affiliates Inc., a group of assisted living facilities in Wisconsin Rapids.

I pretty much knew what I was getting into. I knew what my boss expected of me – what challenges I’d face, what my role would be. Like any new job, there was a learning curve. Still is, as a matter of fact. I’m learning all the time. Part of my job is to research projects and information for our business, so I spend a lot of time on the computer, reading everything I can and watching the occasional video about more topics than I thought possible.

I enjoy my new job, very much. It’s better hours, less stress, a LOT fewer emails. I can choose which project I’ll work on at any given time. I usually have several things going at once, so I can switch back and forth as information is discovered or the mood strikes.

I’ve learned so many ins and outs, it’s amazing to me. I know more about Alzheimer’s disease and dementia than I thought possible – and yet I’m certainly not an expert. I am fascinated by the brain, though, and I read every story about every study that comes out. 

There have been some unexpected things about this job, too. 

The biggest surprise was how much I’d get to know our residents. I share an office at our main building. Unless the vacuum is running or someone is in a private meeting, the door is open and the residents, family members and guests go by and sometimes come in. I see them in the halls and sitting areas. I say good morning at breakfast and goodbye when I’m leaving. I get to know them during activities and when they need some attention.

I enjoy their smiles and greetings. I know they don’t remember my name, but I call them by name, usually each time I see them. Names are sort of a touchstone, although no one has told me that. But it’s a way for them to remember who they are when other names – Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa – no longer have the same meaning.

I also didn’t realize how much I’d sing. I never had to sing at the paper – except the very rare party when we planned to make fools of ourselves. Now I’ve been singing so much I could join a choir. I’m not a singer. I can carry a tune. I can harmonize. I’ll sing in a crowd or at church. But I don’t think I have a nice singing voice. My voice is unusual, and I think it’s a little disconcerting when I sing. But the residents don’t seem to care. They love their sing-alongs, and I’ve been pulled into leading them a little more often lately. They usually are old-time songs. Some are new to me, but old hat for our residents. Others I remember from elementary music class. It’s surprising how the words to something like “America the Beautiful” will stick with you. 

I’m not surprised how much I enjoy my new job, though. In this blog, I’d like to share some insights into my job and our industry. Assisted living isn’t well understood until you’re in it. Dementia is a vague illness until it threatens your family. So, come along on this journey with me. You might be surprised at what you learn.