Christmas at Hilltop Part 2

So I got this idea to do a Christmas video. It started when I was taking pictures as Shelly and the residents started to decorate. I was taking photos of ornaments still in boxes, stars yet to be placed, lights not yet strung. I knew how pretty the trees, especially, would be once they were decorated.

Yet, I was strapped for time and couldn’t stick around to photograph every aspect of the tree decorating.

But I still wanted to share our finished work with you.

So, I spent a little time taking videos of some of our trees and entrance. Then I supplemented with photos of ornaments and decorations.

I try to keep most of our videos to 2 minutes or less. In this fast-paced, want-it-now society, no one wants to watch a long video. And yes, 4 minutes is long. But, this video felt like it would be rushed at 2 minutes. Aren’t the holidays meant to be a time to slow down and enjoy?

So, I found a 4-plus minute song and set about editing the video to match it.

The music was a bit of a challenge. I have some royalty-free music I use for a lot of our videos. But I didn’t have Christmas music. I did an online search, but when you search “royalty-free music,” it’s not necessarily no cost. Then I remembered I’d used a song in the past for a video, and it only required attribution in the video in order to use it.

I went back to our video to find the information, went to the website and found a bunch of royalty-free free music, including holiday music. Yes! I found a pretty version of “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear.” Many thanks to Kevin MacLeod at incompetech.com. He and Creative Commons get the credit in the video for the use of the music.

The trouble with a 4-minute video is its size. While not a big deal on a computer, on my iPhone, it’s a pretty big file. Too big to email, apparently. And I didn’t have my cord to connect to my laptop to drag it directly. But, I was able to use the cloud to transfer it. A few minutes later, it was uploaded on YouTube, watch it here. It also will be on our Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/HilltopAffiliates.

So, take a few minutes and go watch our “long” video. Merry Christmas from all of us at Hilltop!

Christmas at Hilltop

Since the end of November, Shelly Anderson, our activities coordinator, has been decorating for the holidays at Hilltop. She and her helper elves – the residents – have set up multiple trees, strung garland and put up decorations to make our common areas festive.

We have some beautiful decorations on our trees. Each one is themed by color and ornament. We have white trees with gold decorations and blue decorations, green trees decked in red and green and plenty of Santas, snowmen and angels.

We’ve planned parties for residents and their family members. We had our first recently, complete with a visit from Santa, music with the accordion ladies and treats from our cook Becky. Shelly found cute cardboard props to do photos with the residents. They include a snowman nose, reindeer antlers, a Santa beard and more. We got some really cute photos with them. It’s neat how everyone enjoys doing fun photos for the camera!

Shelly and Minnette have fun with holiday props.

Christmas also means cards and presents. Those jobs have fallen to me.

I ordered bright lime green mugs for our residents as gifts. We encourage them to drink a lot of water, and this will help to each have a dedicated, no-spill mug with an easy-to-hold handle that fits every cup holder imaginable. I bought printed cellophane sheets and ribbon and packaged a mug and hot cocoa mix for each resident. Well, technically I’ve wrapped 31 and have another nine to go!

I also thought it would be a good idea to send Christmas cards to residents’ families and some of our business contacts. I should have thought of it in October or November when I could have had some cards printed with a special message. Instead, I had this thought in December, so I was relegated to buying cards and writing them all out by hand. Fifty-some cards later, I think I’m nearly done. Hopefully, it’s the thought that counts, right?

The downside to all this wrapping and card writing is that I really don’t want to go home and do my own. The gifts I have yet to buy won’t need to be wrapped until right before Christmas, so I’ve got time. I do enjoy wrapping.

And maybe I’ll get around to cards next week. Maybe. If you don’t get a Christmas card from me this year, you’ll know why.

Wisconsin Rapids will be a dementia-friendly community

The dementia-friendly community concept is rolling out across Wisconsin, in a grassroots wave. At the heart of many communities is the Aging & Disability Resource Center, an agency serving elderly and adults with disabilities, helping connect people with resources.

The ADRCs, as they are called, were tasked earlier this year with leading the charge toward dementia-friendly communities as part of the Dementia-Capable Wisconsin initiative. I learned more about what’s happening in Wisconsin Rapids during the United Way of Inner Wisconsin’s Supportive Community Health Services Roundtable meeting. Erin Johnson of the ADRC of Central Wisconsin updated us on the progress.

The goal of dementia-friendly communities is to make people with dementia feel safe and accepted in their communities. People with dementia report barriers in their daily lives. They worry about getting lost or encountering negative reactions from others. They might be socially isolated, feel shame, have low self-esteem or be depressed.

There are 100,000 people living in Wisconsin with Alzheimer’s disease or other dementia. That number is expected to double by 2030 and double or triple again by 2050. Most of those people will live outside of assisted living facilities like Hilltop. They will live at home or with family members.

In a dementia-friendly community, people who work at local businesses, agencies and organizations we use on a daily basis would be trained on how to identify, approach and interact with people with dementia. This will help people feel more comfortable, knowing that their daily interactions will be with people who understand them. It also will help employees be more comfortable, knowing they’ve been trained to act appropriately and provide an important service to customers.

Stores, restaurants, banks and other businesses and agencies can participate in employee training. The ADRC-CW has set up an initial meeting for anyone interested in being part of the planning group on Dec. 7. If you’d like to participate, let me know, and I’ll get you in touch with the right people. This group will help ensure proper materials are chosen or created, that training is organized and conducted and that businesses are approached and encouraged to take part.

It’s exciting that this concept is coming to Wisconsin Rapids and that we can be a leader in our state.

Dementia-Capable Wisconsin

I listened in on a Wisconsin Department of Health Services, or DHS, webinar recently on Dementia-Capable Wisconsin. Sessions were held around the state, and if you couldn’t attend in person, you could listen online, which is what I chose. (https://www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/dementia/index.htm)

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it turned out to be an overview of where we are at as a state when it comes to dementia. Some of it I was familiar with, having attended some conferences this year and done some research.

Some key topics addressed were the Music & Memory program (which is fascinating and deserves its own blog post at some point, and which we’d love to do at Hilltop); dementia-friendly communities; dementia training opportunities; and the dementia-friendly employers’ toolkit.

The neat thing about most of these programs is how they are growing organically, from the ground up, not the top down.

Wisconsin was the first state in the country to take on Music & Memory program, and it took off like wildfire. DHS intended to introduce it to nursing homes, and what they found was many more wanting to add it, writing their own grants to get funding and finding creative ways to start the program. Music & Memory creates individual playlists for residents and provides that music on an iPod with headphones. Residents can listen to the music they grew up with and remember, to help put them at ease and to make them feel better. The results can be amazing. (Watch “Alive Inside,” a documentary about how Music & Memory came to be and the lives it has transformed. http://www.aliveinside.us/)

Dementia-friendly communities are springing up across the state. DHS has encouraged communities to take the program and make it their own rather than having it be a government program dictated to communities. There are different takes on it in different places. A toolkit helps provide specific information to specific businesses, for example restaurants or stores.

The employers’ toolkit was put together because most caregivers are still in the workforce. DHS wanted a way to reach them, and it made sense to get to them through work. The toolkit provides resources and helps business owners understand what their workers might be going through as caregivers and how to help them.

After working in a memory care facility and co-facilitating the Alzheimer’s caregiver support group, it’s good to see so much happening in our state to address dementia. It’s good to know there are more resources out there.

My first ground-breaking ceremony

We had glorious weather for our ceremonial ground-breaking Nov. 3, 2015, for Hilltop Grand Village. It was 70 with sun and a breeze. It aided in our event’s success, I’m sure.

Remember, this is Wisconsin -- November in Wisconsin. Some years, we have snow in October, so 70 and shirt-sleeves is a gift.

This was my first ground-breaking. People think if you work for a newspaper you cover a lot of ground-breaking ceremonies. But most are just that – ceremonial. The work usually has begun (which is true for Hilltop Grand Village), and it’s a chance for company leaders and employees to share the project in a public way with financial folks, architects, builders and local dignitaries. It’s a great way to kick off the project. And it’s just something you do. It’s expected, I guess.

It also was my first time planning one. After kicking around some ideas, I went online to figure out what other people do. Turns out most ground breakings are pretty standard, but we wanted ours to be uniquely ours.

Hilltop Grand Village will offer resort-style living for independent seniors. It will offer amenities people likely don’t have at home and activities you might find at resort hotels. It will look like a resort and function like one, too. So, if you were having a ground-breaking for a resort, what would you have? Something classy, right?

Hilltop Grand Village also will have an indoor streetscape where residents and guests can find our many amenities as well as plenty of places to gather and share in our community. It’s nicknamed Broadway, so opening night on Broadway, you’d have a red-carpet event.

The concept was decided.

It actually was easy to find a red carpet and velvet ropes – a family member used them for an event and had them in storage. We pulled together champagne flutes and wine glasses, gold flatware and red table cloths. We bought sparkling wine and cheesecake, and Altmann Construction provided cheese and sausage trays, crackers, water and soda – and the golden shovels. The final touch was swag bags. While they didn’t rival the ones guests get at premieres, they were pretty and provided some tasty and useful treats to our guests.

We had enough special guests in attendance that we did two rounds of tossing shovels full of sand for the cameras. Smiles and applause all around.

The only thing I didn’t take into account was the noise at a construction site. We weren’t planning long or detailed remarks, and our group would be small enough I didn’t anticipate the need for a microphone and loud speaker. Fortunately, River Cities Community Access attended and videotaped the event. Jesse Austin brought a microphone to be able to capture our speakers on video. You can see (and hear!) that video (and ours) here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5VlE-nL4JOZy2Kc6xMQbLP-yXMRL7Wwn

All in all, it was a successful event. And now I can say I’ve not only been to a ground-breaking ceremony, I’ve planned one.

Breaking ground

The third time was the charm when I went to the site of the future Hilltop Grand Village to take pictures. The previous two times it was raining and overcast. But the third time, Oct. 22, was nice. It was warm and the sun was out.

The third time I had to park and walk a bit because a big piece of equipment blocked the “road.” It’s more of a path where vehicles drive, not really a road.

I’ve been taking photos and videos from the front of the property along Highway 54 to chart our progress. Workers began clearing the site Oct. 19, and within a couple of days had progressed quite a bit.

The smell of fresh-cut wood hung in the air. The huge piles of mulch were testament to the work under way. Bulldozer tracks lined the black earth, but it was pretty level. It was easier to see where the new facility will go. It was quite different when it was just a wooded lot, tucked behind Home Depot. Now it’s looking like a construction site, ready for our new resort-style senior living complex.

It’s been in the planning stage for quite some time. So long, in fact, that it doesn’t seem quite real that it’s finally happening.

I’ve spent some time in the past few days making plans for our upcoming ground-breaking ceremony. Having never done this before, it’s a learning experience. We have to make decisions about who to invite and what we should serve and how we should commemorate it. It’s like party planning, but for a short gathering at an outdoor venue. Fortunately, the weather forecast is good for this time of year.

Good weather should help construction as well. We hope to be open by next August for residents to move into our resort-style senior living apartments.

You can follow our progress on our Facebook page for Hilltop Grand Village, https://www.facebook.com/HilltopGrandVillage.

Hilltop's first-ever hay ride

We couldn’t have asked for a better day for our first-ever Hilltop hay ride.

When we planned this outing at Hilltop Estate – more than a month ago – we weren’t sure about the weather. October can be fickle. Just because the calendar says it’s fall doesn’t mean it won’t snow.

We forged ahead with an idea to host a hay ride at the Estate, where we have land to traverse, a tractor, trailer and places to gather. It’s a beautiful property, with white picket fences, three horses, a dog and plenty of trees. We planned what we could do to make it fun for everyone. We bought 25 pumpkins from a local grower to decorate. Someone brought a nice corn shock. We made paper flower bowls to hold our treats.

The day finally arrived, and after a good deal of preparation, it was a great success.

Chief among our blessings was the perfect day. We didn’t need coats, although those who were just sitting appreciated a light blanket, hat or jacket. The hazy sun was warm and the breeze cool. It stoked the fire for roasting hot dogs and marshmallows. We ate apple pumpkin bread, puppy chow, toffee bars and pretzels. We drank hot cider and coffee.

Shelly, our activities coordinator, dressed as a scarecrow and brought along her photo booth supplies. She encouraged everyone to wear funny hats and props to have their photo taken. We got some fun shots of residents, their families and even some staff members.

Several of us sang songs around the campfire, relying on our memories to get the words right to songs we sing every couple of weeks with Chuck the Piano Man. The old-time music is embedded in the memories of many of our residents, but some of us are only learning the words now. We did pretty well on standards like “She’ll Be Coming ‘Round the Mountain” and “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad,” but we weren’t as sure with “Don’t Fence Me In.” We muddled through.

The highlight of the day, of course, was the hay ride. We helped residents onto the trailer to be seated on bales of hay. There was room for a couple of wheelchairs, too. Once full, it was off for a slow putt around the property, past the house, down the hill, through the horse pasture and back.

We filled the trailer three times for rides. Even staff members and volunteers took a turn. It was relaxing to ride around in the afternoon sun, the hum of the tractor leading us.

As with all good things, it came to an end. It was time to go home or back to work. We picked up and packed up and called it a day – but a very successful one. I’m betting this won’t be the only Hilltop hay ride -- perhaps the first of many.

***

Watch the video of the Hilltop hay ride and outing here.

Learn how to make paper flower bowls with this video.

Autumn in Wisconsin

We put away the patio furniture this week. We still have to take down the canopy from the garden area, but we need to get out the ladder to do it. We’ll put away the plant hangers when the mums purchased by a resident’s family member finally succumb to the frost.

The bushes and perennials we planted this year all survived summer. Hopefully, they will make it to spring. The rock beds sprouted more weeds. That’s a never-ending job, it seems. They can wait, though. Soon, they’ll be covered by a blanket of white.

Inside, the windows are closed and the heat is on. Fall items decorate walls and shelves. Our activities have featured apples, pumpkins, ghosts and jack-o-lanterns.

When we come indoors, we kick the leaves out of the way, but some still follow us. Our housekeeper vacuums and sweeps them up. The wind swirls them back in front of the doors again for the next time they are opened.

We’re planning the first-ever Hilltop hay ride at Hilltop Estate. It will be a chance for residents and family members to enjoy time together, featuring a hay ride, songs around the campfire, a photo booth area, treats and more. I purchased a couple dozen pumpkins this week to decorate outside. Someone else is bringing corn shocks. We’ll make our “famous” napkin flower bowls to hold pumpkin apple bread and other treats.

Of course, this all adds up to autumn in Wisconsin. We’re sad to see summer go, but the normal march of time turns the seasons. Let’s enjoy this cooler, prettier time, perhaps with a glass of spiced cider by a fire, and toast what lies ahead.

Birthdays are a big deal

It’s almost like you go backward in time as you age.

When you are a child and understand what a birthday is, you look forward to it. Being another year older is a good thing. You proudly tack a “half” onto your age as soon as you realize this is a possibility. Until you are an adult, you are striving to be older.

It probably helps that birthday parties are cool. You get cake, ice cream and presents, and everybody makes a big deal out of our day.

After you’re 21, there really isn’t another magic number you’re trying to reach. So you kind of coast. Once you hit adulthood, the appeal for birthdays slows. Birthdays might be a time to celebrate, maybe you go out with friends. Your parents and close friends might still send a card or gift, but most of your birthday wishes are just that. Parties aren’t a big deal unless you’re hitting a milestone and someone throws you a surprise party.

Most birthdays just pass you by until one day you realize you’re getting older and you can’t do anything about it. You can lie about your age, but someone, somewhere will know the truth. And at some point, you’ll probably look your age, too.

You probably don’t even have a party. If not for Facebook, would anyone even know it’s your special day?

And then something beautiful happens. Birthdays get to be a big deal. People who are lucky enough to reach older adulthood tend to look forward to their birthdays. They are proud to tell you exactly how old they are, the year they were born and probably anything else you’d like to know about their lives.

Maybe it’s because you start to have birthday parties again, with cake, candles, singing and cards. Maybe you’ll even get a gift or two and lots of good wishes.

You can go back to your childhood, when birthdays were fun and you couldn’t wait until the next one. That’s the way birthdays are at Hilltop. It’s a special day to celebrate. Here’s to the next one!

Lucille celebrates 96 years with a special birthday cake.

Walk to End Alzheimer's

I took part in my first charity walk recently. At least I think it was my first. I might have done something in college, but I honestly don’t remember. And if you can’t remember, it didn’t happen, right?

In all seriousness, I didn’t hesitate to get involved with the Alzheimer’s Association Walk to End Alzheimer’s held Sept. 19 in Plover. I’ve become more involved with the Alzheimer’s Association since coming to this job in January. I attend the monthly caregiver support groups sponsored by the Alzheimer’s Association. I serve as a co-facilitator and take notes from our guest speakers’ presentations for our newsletter. I attended an Alzheimer’s Association state conference earlier this year to learn more about all aspects of this disease.

So, when I got information about the walk, I thought Hilltop should be a part of it. I had to get an OK from my boss. Fortunately, she’s fine with pretty much anything I suggest -- especially if the price is right and I’m willing to do any legwork. Done and done.

There is no charge to participate in the walk. Our team and any members were expected to seek donations for the Alzheimer’s Association. Through the generosity of family members and friends, I was able to hit my personal goal, and our team raised a percentage of our goal. I’m not sure of our final total, because at least one person made a donation the day of the walk.

We were a little skimpy on walkers. While several people were interested in participating, it was a busy weekend, and life got in the way. I walked along with the spouse of one of our residents. We had a nice talk as we walked the two-mile route. The sun was shining. It was a good day to get out for a walk. We had an honorary team do a 3-mile route out of town at the same time -- to be with us in spirit, even if they couldn't be there in person.

As with so many work activities, I took some photos and video. One of my personal tweets garnered 18 favorites and several retweets. (Please follow us on Twitter @1Mystique1 and @HilltopWR.) I wanted to put together a video of the experience for our Facebook page. Videos do pretty well there, and it was a nice experience. (You can watch our video on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZYyM9P7XcY or Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/733813290059083/videos/vb.733813290059083/856199224487155/?type=2&theater. You can follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our YouTube channel.)

The walk was a family-friendly event. There were lots of kids in strollers and even some dogs on leashes. Everyone was orderly and seemed in a good mood. There were plenty of purple shirts – you got one for raising more than $100. Some families made their own shirts to remember a loved one. One family dressed in matching purple wigs and capes to honor their “super hero.” We enjoyed free doughnuts and coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts before the walk, and a lunch was served afterward. Volunteers welcomed us back to the village park plaza after the walk with signs of support, plenty of waves and smiles and even some cowbells.

Next year, I hope to have a bigger Hilltop team take part. Maybe we can wear matching purple shirts or capes. I’m holding out hope for the capes. 

A selfie in my purple walk T-shirt. Next year, a cape?

Shake, shake, shake, senora!

The activity idea wasn’t mine. A co-worker found it in a magazine.

It was to celebrate Mexico’s Independence Day, Sept. 16. It included the history of the day, a craft idea and a snack idea. Everything revolved around Mexico’s flag colors – red, white and green. My co-worker set everything up, but she had to be out of the office during our regular activity time. So, I took over leading the project, with help from staff members and my son, who volunteers once a week at Hilltop.

We made maracas.

Our maracas have different designs.

They are simple and fun. You decorate paper bags (we used markers and colored pencils in green and red), add rice, beans or anything small and dry that will shake inside the bag, roll the top and add a couple of staples. Shake, shake, shake to your heart’s content.

This bag is styled on the Mexican flag.

I created a a streaming music channel on my phone of Mexican music to accompany us. We made our maracas. The music and maracas made me thing of the Harry Belafonte song, “Jump in the Line,” which I had to look up from the lyrics, “Shake, shake, shake senora.” I found it on YouTube and started it.

I shook maracas. I got residents to shake maracas. I sang. I danced. I got my teenage son to shake a maraca and smile at his goofy mother.

Six minutes later I’m wondering if this song will ever end. Somehow I managed to find a 7-minute, 21-second version. I finally stopped it. I’d had enough shaking.

I don’t know what the residents thought. Maybe that I was silly dancing around and shaking paper bags with rice. The staff members gave me some odd glances. Maybe they were jealous of my great talent at shaking paper bags and acting goofy. I never said I could sing or dance well. If they were job requirements, I’d be out. Fortunately, no one really judges you here.

And sometimes, it’s all fun and games at work – literally.

Watch our video

Making maracas video

Help guide for dementia

Even before I officially joined the Hilltop team, I was invited to be part of the Supportive Community Health Services Roundtable, an initiative of the United Way of Inner Wisconsin. It’s a relatively new group, organized to address unmet needs in the community related to health services. Angela Loucks, chairwoman of the roundtable, suggested it might be a good fit in my new position. As a representative of assisted living, she assumed I could help speak to possible needs we witness.

As it turned out, the group already had a focus when I joined earlier this year: creating a dementia-friendly community.

Some communities in Wisconsin are working toward the same goal. Recently, the Aging & Disability Resource Center-Central Wisconsin has been tasked by the state with taking the lead on creating a dementia-friendly community, so the roundtable might instead focus on creating an age-friendly community, which would overlap in some ways but be broader in scope.

But in the process of discussing dementia needs, Angie noticed she was learning about a number of different resources and wondered if they were compiled in some form for families. She suggested putting together a dementia help guide for families.

The brochure would be styled like the Help Guide for South Wood County, a brochure that provides resources to people who need financial assistance. The Help Guide answers questions about how to apply for unemployment, how to find child care, how to get help with rent or utilities, how to get food or learn new skills to find a job – among many other topics. It’s easy to use and chock full of good information.

So, what would we put in a dementia help guide? Caregivers at our Alzheimer’s support group suggested where to get cheaper medical supplies, how to handle taking away a driver’s license, transportation options and respite care. Angie wants to include information about the support group, our memory cafes (there are two!), ADRC services, Park Place Adult Day Services and memory care facilities.

She also plans to include a card to cut out, like this one.

It’s something a person can give to a server at a restaurant or a store clerk, for example. The back features community resource information.

What would you include in a dementia guide in our community? What resources exist that we should highlight? What questions do you have that the guide could answer? You may call Angie at 715-421-0390 or post a comment here, and I’ll pass it along to her. Thank you, in advance, for your assistance.

Baby therapy

We had a young visitor at Hilltop. She’s got blue eyes and dark hair – what there is of it. She’s beautiful, and she brings out the best in all of the residents.

She’s the 3-month-old daughter of a co-worker. She came dressed in a pink, summery outfit, bright-eyed and wiggly. She easily won over the hearts of everyone – staff members, residents and family members of residents.

“I hear there’s a baby here,” said the wife of one of our residents as she came into the office. She wanted a turn to hold her, too.

We all did. We cooed and touched and oohed over her. We let her grasp our fingers in her tiny hands, and we held her tiny feet in our big hands.

We couldn’t get enough of her.

She’s a very pretty baby.

But it was more than just that. There is something about children and babies that appeal to us. It’s a rare person who isn’t intrigued by little ones. Our residents love it when staff or family members bring in their children or grandchildren. It might be their size or the energy they exude. It might be the memories stirred of their own children.

Even the next day, one of the residents at the Estate was gushing about the baby who came to visit, about how beautiful she was and how special it was to see and hold her.

While the residents in our memory care facility might not remember her visit, the joy they experienced in the moment is priceless.

That’s why we said we need baby therapy at least once a month. While our residents enjoy it when pets visit, they really love it when a baby visits. I guess the only trouble is babies grow up. But we’ll treasure their visits as long as we can. 

Virtual dementia tour

I put on dark glasses that blocked my vision. I put in ear buds that chanted gibberish and wailing sirens. I put on too-big gloves, one inside out. I put plastic inserts in my shoes that poked me constantly.

Then I went into a darkened room with a strobe light flashing and attempted to complete several tasks, spoken to me quietly in quick order.

Uh, what?

I fumbled around, remembering the tasks, but not able to complete them all because I couldn’t find what I was looking for. Where were the towels?

I have the advantage of a good memory and the ability to block out noise and pain – at least temporarily.

But for people with dementia, this distorted reality might be too real.

Stoney River Memory Care in Marshfield provided the session for members of the Wood County Coalition Against Abuse Interdisciplinary Team recently. The purpose of the I-Team is to increase awareness surrounding the topic of abuse and neglect of elders and adults at risk in Wood County, to coordinate efforts of various agencies that respond to abuse and neglect and to facilitate the development of better resources and preventative efforts. We meet quarterly to learn and share. We have different guest speakers and topics each time.

The virtual dementia tour is meant to simulate what a person with dementia might be experiencing. The shoe inserts mimic foot pain or chronic pain, and they make you more unsteady. The glasses distort and darken vision as might be the case with eye problems in elderly people. They also alter your “normal” reality. The gloves make you fumble more – you’re less sure of your grip and have trouble with fine motor skills. The ear buds that provide constant noise distract from the task at hand. They make it hard to hear instructions, just as hearing loss can make it hard to hear people’s voices.

We were timed as we did our tasks, although our results weren’t revealed. I think the timing was meant to encourage us to keep going and wrap up our tour – not that anyone would want to stay longer than necessary.

We knew we were only in that situation for a short time. We were doing it willingly.

People with dementia don’t have that luxury.

The women who offered the tour said they encourage family members to take the tour to get an idea of what it’s like for their loved ones with dementia. They said people sometimes break down, realizing how difficult it would be to live like that.

The tour should help caregivers – both family and professional – understand the importance of speaking slowly and clearly, making eye contact, only giving one task or suggestion at a time, showing what you want accomplished and taking into account pain and confusion.

The virtual dementia tour gave me a better understanding for what it might be like to live with dementia and a greater appreciation for caregivers. If you get the chance, I strongly encourage you to take a tour.

Other duties as assigned

Everyone jokes about "other duties as assigned" on their job description. Usually it’s meant to cover the minutia  of a job that can’t be easily captured in broad statements.

I’ve learned in my new job that it means a whole lot more.

Even though I have an office job doing community relations, research and project work, I do a lot more. That’s the nature of assisted living. We move furniture, we clean and fix things, we plant shrubs and flowers (and water them when it doesn’t rain), we paint walls and stain wood. We joke about other duties as assigned.

Recently, I was assigned to remove a wallpaper border from a resident’s room and then put up a new one. I finally picked a day to dress down and tackle the project.

It came off pretty easily. I was able to peel back the top covering, spritz it with water and scrape off the backing. Soon I was ready to put up the new border. I held it up to see how it would look. The walls are painted three colors: taupe on the bottom, cream where the border had been, about eye level and little above, and a pale lavender above to the ceiling. I held up the pine cone border over the cream. It looked nice, but I wanted to be sure. So I called in a co-worker. She agreed it looked nice. She even held it up so I could stand back and look. Yup, we thought it would go nicely with the colors and theme of the room.

I’ve taken down a lot of wallpaper in my life. Layers of it, sometimes, over rough plaster walls. It tests your will. After all, if you start to remove the paper, you are committed. It’s not a job you can leave half done.

But I’ve never put up wallpaper. Neither my husband nor I particularly like it. (See note above about removing the nasty stuff.) So, when it came time to put it up, I asked a co-worker if she thought I should use the water method alone or the border adhesive we had in storage. She said she’d only ever done it with water. I knew I’d have to paste on the adhesive, and you still need to book it, so I thought using water would be easier.

She said she’d help when I got to the long stretches when it would take two people to handle the job.

I measured and cut my first piece, wet it in the sink, booked it for the required two minutes and put it up with a wet sponge. It went up pretty easy. I worked my way around the room, doing the smaller sections, leaving the two lengths for the end.

I opened my last package and started to measure the long pieces. I dithered over where to cut it for the seam on one end. I measured for my final piece so I’d have everything ready to go when my co-worker got back to help.

There wasn’t enough. I was almost 3 feet too short. Grr. I didn’t think we had any more in storage. What to do?  I could seam the long wall and maybe repaint the short one so it’s one color without the cream border. I couldn’t come up with other solutions. Try to match it? I did find a match online, so maybe that’s an option.

My co-worker came back, and I shared my dilemma. She said she’d check to see if we happened to have more in storage. “Let’s leave it until Monday,” she said. I agreed.

A few minutes later she came back in the office as I sat looking at wallpaper borders online.

At about the same time realization was dawning on me she asked, “Is it upside down?”

Rats. I made a face. It was. At least according to the pictures online. The straight edge should go at the top – as if you were placing it against the ceiling as a border. I’d turned it around. I thought it looked like a shelf with pinecones resting on it.

She started to laugh. I apologized. She thought it was funny. “Now you have a story to tell your family when you go home tonight,” she said.

“Yeah, that I’m an idiot,” I said.

Everyone who stopped to see what I was working on during the afternoon probably thought I was clueless, too. They told me it looked nice. Maybe they were just being nice. Poor girl, they thought. She doesn’t even know how to hang wallpaper.

Oh well. I still think it looks nice this way. But it is an excuse to take it all down and find enough of a border to cover all the walls.

That would be another duty as assigned.

The things they bring me

Two residents stopped in the office. One was holding two small, clear bowls, stacked, with four large tortilla chips in the top bowl.

The resident holding the bowls set them on my desk and proceeded to take out the chips, telling me about a business deal in southern Wisconsin that wasn’t working out. He explained how I needed to fix it or fire the guy. The chips were the product, which he wasn’t happy about.

As he headed for the door, I asked if he wanted to take the chips with him. No, he said. His companion looked at the chips hungrily but didn’t reach for them either.

So, they sat on my desk for a while.

A little later, the first resident returned and left me a pizza crust as well. He had snacked on his leftovers from lunch out with a family member or friend. I guess I was the depository for leftover food that day.

I cleaned up the leftovers and took the dishes to the kitchen. It’s just one of the things they bring.

People with dementia act in different ways. Some tend to walk a lot. Some ask the same questions over and over. Some forget where their rooms are and go into other residents’ rooms. Some forget that items belong to them.

We have several residents who tend to pick up items and move them around. We find odd things in odd places. Some of those misplaced items wind up in the office where we collect them until we figure out where they go. Staff members usually can identify someone in a photo to get it back to the right owner. We recall who collects knickknacks or who has outdoor decorations in their room. Eventually, items are returned. We know some things will move again, but that’s OK.

Some things go missing. Clothing, slippers, TV remotes. Glasses, dentures, hearing aids. Those are little more troublesome. Sometimes they turn up in the wash – literally. One day we found someone’s dentures in the box for newspapers. Those waited on my desk until someone could figure out their owner.

It’s always interesting what they bring. Arm-chair covers. Books and magazines. Lamp shades. Baskets. Flowers. Cups. Bowls.

And, apparently, tortilla chips, too.

Surprises in assisted living

I started my new job in January. After more than 20 years in the newspaper business, I made the switch to health care. I’m the community relations director for Hilltop Affiliates Inc., a group of assisted living facilities in Wisconsin Rapids.

I pretty much knew what I was getting into. I knew what my boss expected of me – what challenges I’d face, what my role would be. Like any new job, there was a learning curve. Still is, as a matter of fact. I’m learning all the time. Part of my job is to research projects and information for our business, so I spend a lot of time on the computer, reading everything I can and watching the occasional video about more topics than I thought possible.

I enjoy my new job, very much. It’s better hours, less stress, a LOT fewer emails. I can choose which project I’ll work on at any given time. I usually have several things going at once, so I can switch back and forth as information is discovered or the mood strikes.

I’ve learned so many ins and outs, it’s amazing to me. I know more about Alzheimer’s disease and dementia than I thought possible – and yet I’m certainly not an expert. I am fascinated by the brain, though, and I read every story about every study that comes out. 

There have been some unexpected things about this job, too. 

The biggest surprise was how much I’d get to know our residents. I share an office at our main building. Unless the vacuum is running or someone is in a private meeting, the door is open and the residents, family members and guests go by and sometimes come in. I see them in the halls and sitting areas. I say good morning at breakfast and goodbye when I’m leaving. I get to know them during activities and when they need some attention.

I enjoy their smiles and greetings. I know they don’t remember my name, but I call them by name, usually each time I see them. Names are sort of a touchstone, although no one has told me that. But it’s a way for them to remember who they are when other names – Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa – no longer have the same meaning.

I also didn’t realize how much I’d sing. I never had to sing at the paper – except the very rare party when we planned to make fools of ourselves. Now I’ve been singing so much I could join a choir. I’m not a singer. I can carry a tune. I can harmonize. I’ll sing in a crowd or at church. But I don’t think I have a nice singing voice. My voice is unusual, and I think it’s a little disconcerting when I sing. But the residents don’t seem to care. They love their sing-alongs, and I’ve been pulled into leading them a little more often lately. They usually are old-time songs. Some are new to me, but old hat for our residents. Others I remember from elementary music class. It’s surprising how the words to something like “America the Beautiful” will stick with you. 

I’m not surprised how much I enjoy my new job, though. In this blog, I’d like to share some insights into my job and our industry. Assisted living isn’t well understood until you’re in it. Dementia is a vague illness until it threatens your family. So, come along on this journey with me. You might be surprised at what you learn.